October 2006

This month was a difficult month in many ways. Firstly it marked the first anniversary of my mothers passing on the 4th October 2005. I therefore wish to dedicate this post to my mum and share the Eulogy that I wrote for her funeral.

Eulogy

Lurlynn, Lull, Mum, Grandma, many names, one woman and what a woman!

Brought up in Diego Martin, Trinidad, only child, daughter of F. and M. Francis, and step-daughter to F. Charles.

Many of her growing years were spent in Maran, Grenada with her Grandmother, Miss Gayman and her cousins. These were happy times and she often recalled the firm but fair tactics "Mammy" employed to control all her grandchildren.

Mum left Trinidad and arrived at Southampton Docks in September 1964, aged 19 years. She was well suited, of course, in an outfit made specially for the occasion by her mother, with her only grip in one hand.

She came to England with a view to studying to become a nurse. She went on to complete her studies and became a State Registered Nurse. Mum often recalled, with a fondness, the times she spent with her co-students living in the Nursing Home, many of whom were from Thailand and other far eastern countries, as well as many islands of the Caribbean.

Whilst doing her nurse training, she fell in love with and married H. Together they had three children, H. Junior, M. and M.

Mum continued to work in various hospitals, including Rush Green and Oldchurch and eventually became a District Nurse, serving those in the community.

It was this position in the community that allowed her the flexibility to continue to care for her three children on her own, following the break up of her marriage.

Mum often had to burn the candle at both ends to ensure the financial security of her three children. Finishing her day job and running to catch the bus up the road to do night duty.

Anyone who knew Mum can comment on her enormous energy and vitality. They say that nursing is a vocation and not just a job and this certainly was true in her case. She touched the lives of so many of her patients and clients, who from her caring nature, have become her true friends.

Nothing was too much for anybody who may have needed her help, and we all know that Mum could shop for England. We practically grew up in Romford Market, where she always had to get that last bargain!

They say that the greatest hardship for a mother is to watch your children fall and allow them to make their own mistakes in life.

In the words of the famous poem Desiderata "....to go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence..."

We have all fallen and we have all made our mistakes!

Mum you equipped us for life by ensuring our understanding of one of the greatest teachings:

"....give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime...." you of course taught us daily how to fish.

Mum was a Trini through and through, she had a great love for her people. The national flag of Trinidad stands for so much. The black represents the strength and dedication of the people as well as the wealth of the land. The red stands for the vitality and friendliness of the people as well as the warmth of the sun, while the thin white stripes the purity of aspirations and the equality of all men under the sun. I think you will all agree that Mum had all of these qualities.

Mum the way in which you lived your life is an inspiration to us all. The courage with which you have faced life's challenges is commendable. Even during her short illness she never complained. Even when the pain became unbearable, she took it in her stride. She often told us not to cry. She was a fighter to the end.

We as your children and grandchildren can only hope to measure up.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who were involved in caring, visiting and praying for our mother over the last five months. In particular, Auntie Y, your unwavering support, care and dedication for our mother was second to none. Auntie C, your prayers, kind words and meals, helped us both spiritually and physically and Auntie P, thank you for the soup - Mum enjoyed all of them tremendously!

Mum we would like to thank you for all that you have given to us and all that you have sacrificed in doing so.

Sleep on beloved, sleep and take thy rest.